annoying...

This morning so far has been pretty annoying. I wake up to little sisters on the computer keeping josh up (who has scarlet fever) And unfortunately Rachel doesn't have to go to school. I have a feeling today is going to be very...BLAH! Today i am supposed to go see my friend Nikki who just got out of Valley for suicidal thoughts. Well today i am 31 weeks and i am SOOO counting down. I am a little worried that she isn't where she needs to be weight wise. I've had problems with her catching up as it is. Of course it doesn't help when i have a nurse that looks like she's on crack. Oh well. I was wanting to have a water birth b/c i think it's so cool BUT i doubt they will sense it's my first baby and me being young and all. plus i WANT the epidural!
But still it would be neat-o to have a water birth! I'm trying NOT to be stressed out about everything. I am though, for some reason i get all worried. I think it's because i think about my future way to much and because i do that i get stressed out. I didn't get to finish school(public schools suck anyways) and G.E.D is taking forever and i haven NO idea what i want to do in life to support me and Caitlin.
I'd rather not rely on any men at all. I'd rather be independent. Less stress on me,lol! I decided to give up on Eric being there. He's WAY to immature for me and to be a father. IF he wants to be around then alright but right now I'd rather not deal with it!! Oh well enough complaining for right now. I'll just out it into God's hands and just go with the flow. That's all i really can do. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!